Helping an Adult Child With Mental Illness
When your son or daughter turns 18, you are still their parent, but privacy law changes what you can know and decide. Here is what you can do, how to raise treatment, and how your insurance may help.
What parents can do, and what an adult child decides
Privacy law (HIPAA) treats your child as an adult. You can still do a lot, and a signed release opens the rest.
You can
Call, ask and learn
Call admissions, share what you have seen, ask about programs and insurance, and check benefits on your own plan.
With their consent
Hear about their care
Receive updates, join family sessions and help plan discharge, once they sign a release.
Only they can
Agree to treatment
Complete the assessment, choose to start, and decide who can know what.
Talking to your adult child in four steps
It rarely goes perfectly the first time. Keep the door open and try again.
Step 1
Pick a calm moment
Not during an argument or a crisis, and not in front of others.
Step 2
Say what you have seen
Specific moments, said with care, not a list of failures.
Step 3
Listen first
Ask how it feels from their side, and let them finish.
Step 4
Offer one next step
A call together, an assessment, or reading about a program.
Words that tend to help
- “I have noticed you have not been sleeping, and I am worried about you.”
- “You do not have to decide anything today. Can we just call and ask?”
- “I will be there for whatever you choose.”
What usually backfires
- Ultimatums you are not ready to keep
- Comparing them with siblings or friends
- Diagnosing them or arguing about labels
Treatment with people their own age, in a program for men or for women
For sons and daughtersYoung adults
How Wings treats young adults, and how parents are involved with their consent.
Learn more
Coverage on your plan until age 26
Young adults can usually stay on a parent’s health plan until they turn 26. As the policyholder, you can call admissions to check the benefits before your child is ready to talk.
Verify your insurance →Talk to admissions
Parents can call first. Admissions answers calls 9 a.m.–5 p.m., seven days a week.
Call(760) 388-6369Wings works with many PPO insurance plans
Admissions verifies your benefits before admission, free and confidential. For Medi-Cal or Medicare, admissions can point you to programs that accept them.
Questions from parents
Privacy, insurance, refusal, college and coming from a hospital.
Don't see your question?
Admissions answers calls 9 a.m.–5 p.m., seven days a week. Calls are confidential.
Call(760) 388-6369Visits, phones, what to bring and more in the admissions FAQ →All the ways to reach Wings →My child is over 18. Can Wings tell me how they are doing?
Only with their written consent. Many young adults agree to share some information with a parent. Without it, Wings can still listen to you and answer general questions.
Can my adult child use my insurance?
Often yes. Young adults can stay on a parent’s plan until age 26. Admissions checks your benefits for free.
Can I make my adult child go to treatment?
Wings is voluntary, so they agree to treatment themselves. If they are in danger, call 911. If they will not talk about it yet, see When They Refuse Help.
They are in college. Can they take time off?
Many colleges offer a medical leave of absence. Admissions can explain what paperwork is usually needed.
Does Wings have a program for young adults?
Yes. Wings treats young adults 18 and over in separate programs for men and women, with family involved when they agree.
They just left a psychiatric hospital. What now?
Call before discharge if you can. Admissions works with the hospital team on records and timing, so there is no gap.